News, Views, & Interviews

Every once in a while a song comes along that transcends a genre. A song so powerful, that its hook is almost instantly burned into our somewhat-permanent memory banks. In most cases, we would be talking about a really great song—an “instant classic” to borrow an industry cliché—but not always. And not in this case (bear with me). Some songs are so bad, so utterly cheesy, that they also become unforgettable. Examples include: “Macarena” (both the song and the dance), “MacArthur Park,” and “Mambo Number 5.” No musical genre is immune from this phenomenon. Recently, I experienced a new song that falls into this instantly unforgettable trash category. This one comes from rap mogul Snoop Dogg and is called “Sensual Seduction.” In the interest of full disclosure, let me say that I’m actually a big fan of the Doggfather. His song “Gin and Juice” is one of the very few rap songs that is still relevant and good almost 15 years after its debut. Very few rap songs have a shelf life of more than a few months. “Gin and Juice” is truly a classic. Snoop’s new song “Sensual Seduction” also won’t be forgotten anytime soon. If you haven’t experienced the song yet, you’ll need to go hear it before you continue reading. You can hear it and watch the video for free on YouTube. Go check it out, I’ll wait for you to get back.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKz-RXSeIYA Pretty bad, huh? But dammit, you’ll be hearing that melody and the electronic effect on Snoop’s voice the rest of the day and into tomorrow. You’ll call friends over to show them how wonderfully awful the new song is. You’ll forward the link and watch it again before you hit send just to be sure. You’ll watch it and listen to the song again and again just to laugh at the absurdity of the genre-bending attempt by one of the biggest names in rap music. And each time you expose yourself to this song, its infection will grow onto you, in you, and through you. You won’t soon forget “Sensual Seduction.” Snoop’s new song will be intermingling with truly good songs that are stored in your permanent memory to the point where a few weeks or months down the road you’ll question whether “Sensual Seduction” can really be a bad song if you’re still thinking about it and hearing the melody so many weeks later. The line between good and bad art will blur because we’ve learned to equate memorable with good. Because the song is written and performed by Snoop Dogg, there’s a level of trust there. We’ll give it a chance. Heck, we’ll probably give anything Snoop does a chance because he’s so good. And there’s the rub. Snoop just seduced us… again. Eh, maybe the new song ain’t so bad.

‘Tis the season of giving. ‘Tis the season for every charity under the sun to hit you up either via mail, email, telephone, or in person as they wait outside of shopping centers ready to open fire on you with guilt-laced words of mass destruction (WMDs). “Hi, would you like to help a starving child this holiday season,” the charity collector might open with before unleashing the real blow: “or would you rather see the poor, innocent creature die?” So then you’re left with a choice: give to this charity you may know nothing about, or walk away worried about what the passers-by may be thinking of you. Don’t get me wrong. Charity is a good thing. A very good thing. But it’s important that you do your homework before giving. Some are outright scams, others aren’t exactly unethical but their overhead is so high that very little of your contribution makes it to the intended needy. Which is why I usually don’t mind giving blood. There’s just not many ways a group can misuse a blood donation. I have a somewhat rare blood type: A Negative. About 85% of Americans are Rh positive, and of the remaining 15%, about 6% of us are A Negative. So the Red Cross calls me pretty regularly asking me to give. I feel it’s my duty to give blood because I need to cover for all of my Jehovah Witness friends who won’t give blood because of their belief system, and I need to cover for lots of other people who just don’t give for no specific reason. I started giving blood regularly about two years ago and I set a goal for myself: to give at least 12 times. Today marks my seventh time donating which means (for those of you mathematically inclined who are paying attention) that I’m more than half way there. The reason 12 is my magic number is because that’s the average number of pints in an adult male. Once I’ve given 12 times I can say I gave it all. After that, if I need to turn the Red Cross phone solicitor down for any reason, I won’t have any guilt. I’ve learned that the Red Cross has a scale similar to the U.S. Government’s color-coded terror alert level system. The Red Cross’s level of need relative to the amount of blood in storage falls under the following categories: 1. Critical 2. Desperate 3. Emergency 4. We’re all doomed Today they were only at the “Critical “level which means all is well with the blood supply. Besides alleviating your guilt, there are other good reasons to give: one pint of your blood can save up to three lives, you’re helping your fellow man and getting nothing for it besides juice and cookies, and last but definitely not least, you become a cheap date. As I type this I’m sipping a Samuel Adams Winter Lager and it’s going right to my head. Cheers and happy giving!

I’m a sucker for any kid selling anything. Probably because I remember going door-to-door as a kid for the Cub Scouts, my school, my sports team, or whatever other fundraisers I was involved in. I’m by far the easiest mark in my neighborhood. The kids all know that no matter what kind of junk they’re selling, and for whatever cause, I’ll buy. Not only will I buy, I’ll buy from all of them. If three kids from three different families are all selling something for the same cause, I’ll buy something from each of them. I can’t help it. Maybe I’m just a capitalist at heart, and seeing kids trying their hands at sales just sparks nostalgia. But the other day something happened that has shaken my suckerishness (if there is such a word). I was walking out of Stop and Shop and ran into a group of Cub Scouts selling pop corn. “Hi, would you like to buy some pop corn?” the young salesman said. Sure,” I said. “Whadaya got?” “We have this one, and this one, and this one,” he said. He pointed to a box of microwave popcorn, a bag of kernels for the old-fashion fans, and a small tin of chocolate covered popcorn. “Chocolate cover sounds good,” I said. “I’ll take that one.” “Sixteen dollars, please,” the boy said. Ouch. $16 bucks for a small tin of popcorn and now I was stuck. I can walk away and look like a cheapskate or I can pony up the $16 and feel ripped off. Either way I lose. As the dad came over to take my $20 and get me my change, I asked if the boys were going for their Gouging Badge. I got an uncomfortable laugh back. A laugh that suggested he didn’t like the prices either. “Thanks for supporting our troop,” the boy said. He showed a toothy smile. The capitalist in me smiled back and my heart melted again. It’s a good thing the kid wasn’t selling something really expensive or we would all be in trouble. I walked away with my $16 chocolate-covered popcorn — the stuff tastes good, I’ll give them that. Or maybe I’m still trying to justify being grifted by a kid.

Hey everyone… I know I haven’t blogged in a while. Sorry about that if you’ve been checking in. It’s October and I’m like a tax accountant in April. I wanted to make a quick post about some of the events and appearances I have coming up between now and the end of the month. I hope to see/hear you all at every single one of them!  -Jeff October 16: Jeff Belanger on KSNI in Santa Maria, CA, Jeff Belanger on WSEI 92.9 FM in Olney, IL October 17: Jeff Belanger on WKIS 99.9 FM in Miami, Florida, Jeff Belanger at Bellingham, MA Library October 18: Jeff Belanger on WPCK 104.9 FM in Green Bay, WI, Jeff Belanger on WQRL 106.3 FM in Benton, IL October 22: Jeff Belanger on SNEP Live Radio, Jeff Belanger on WGRR in Cincinnati, OH October 23: Jeff Belanger on WLPO in Oglesby, IL, Jeff Belanger on WPVL 107.1 FM in Platteville, WI October 24: Jeff Belanger at the Mendon, MA Library, Jeff Belanger on WNDV 92.9 FM in South Bend, IN October 25: Jeff Belanger on KOA-AM in Denver October 26: Jeff Belanger on WTBQ in Florida, NY, Jeff Belanger on WSUL in Monticello, NY October 28: Jeff Belanger on the Travel Channel October 29: Jeff Belanger on WFON K101.7 FM in Fond Du Lac, WI, Jeff Belanger on WTRC in Elkhart, IN, Jeff Belanger on KFXJ 104.5 FM in Wichita, KS, Jeff Belanger on KNOX AM 1310 in Grand Forks, ND, Jeff Belanger on WRIF in Detroit, MI, Jeff Belanger on WCUB in Manitowoc, WI October 30: Jeff Belanger at Bellingham, MA Library, Jeff Belanger on CFRB Radio with Richard Syrett, Jeff Belanger on WLS AM 890 – Chicago, Jeff Belanger on NECN TV October 31: Jeff Belanger on KTAO 101.9 FM in Taos, NM, Jeff Belanger on WFHN in Fairhaven, MA November 2-3: Virginia City Ghost Conference – Nevada

Dear Pampers: I took physics in high school, I’ve read up on it since, and I believe I have a better-than-average understanding of the subject. I understand displacement and I get basic mechanics. What I can’t possibly explain is how your diaper managed to hold in what my three-month-old daughter just produced this afternoon. Let me explain. This past week we started giving my daughter an occasional bottle of formula in an effort to try and get her used to using the bottle. She hasn’t gone poo in about five days, and yesterday she seemed to be getting uncomfortable. We knew something was coming… something big, and something bad. Ironically, it happened today. Father’s Day. We heard it first, then smelled it. We carried our daughter to the changing table as if she were both radioactive and on fire. Describing what she placed in your diaper wouldn’t be appropriate in mixed company, but let’s just say there was a lot of it. A whole lot. What I saw rocked my understanding of the field of physics. First, I can’t possibly explain how something that weighs about 13 pounds can produce that much stuff without imploding; and second, I can’t possibly explain how your Pampers Swaddlers held all of that in! Your product has broken the laws of physics; however, you have saved an outfit my daughter was wearing as well as possibly our carpet and other pieces of furniture that may have been otherwise bombed. My hat is off to you and your company for your seemingly supernatural diaper product. Regards, -Jeff Belanger

Two things happened recently that have caused me to revisit “Prophet” Reverend Peter Popoff of The People United for Christ, Incorporated. First, I’ve received a number of comments and emails regarding my first blog about Popoff’s “Miracle Spring Water” from Chernobyl that made me realize this guy is out there really hurting people, many of whom are desperate for answers. The second event that prompted another blog was that Rev. Peter Popoff himself phoned me! Well… sort of. I want to tell you a little bit more about my professional background. After college I was an editor for a newspaper in Danbury, Connecticut. When the newspaper ran out of money, so did I. So I sold out and went into marketing and public relations. I spent the next six years working in the marketing departments of both public and private companies, and I even did a stint working for an advertising agency in Connecticut. During this time I learned a lot about direct mail by organizing campaigns for clients, writing the contents of some of these sales documents, and understanding what technology was available in regard to making the letters personalized and more innovative. So when I receive direct mail of any kind today, I have an understanding of what went into the creation of the piece. So the other day my office phone rang and I picked it up. “This is your prophet Peter Popoff,” the voice on the other end said. I immediately recognized the voice. The recording of Popoff’s voice went on to tell me that I should watch one of his televised miracle crusades that was coming up. After I hung up, it occurred to me that I’d never spoken with a living human from Peter Popoff’s People United for Christ, Incorporated. The first toll-free number I called all those months ago was answered by a recording from Peter Popoff who asked me to leave my name and address (spelling everything out) on the recording. After that, the letters started coming, each one asking for a specific amount of money. I gave the amount he requested twice because I wanted to see where this would go. I quickly figured out where it was going. Each week I received one or two letters from Popoff, each with some crazy gimmick like holy bubble gum, blessed mood rings, or a supernatural fleece. You can see that one below (click on the image for a larger view). I also noticed other features of Popoff’s direct mail campaigns. In the lower right of each piece of mail I received from Popoff, was a number: 1921805. This is a control number. The day I first called for the Miracle Spring Water, I was assigned this number in their computer. When I mailed in a “donation,” it was noted on my number and I became a higher priority for the campaign. Some of the cards Popoff asked me to fill out asked if I was married, or who I’d like him to pray for and what was my relationship to that person. He also asked how much debt I was in. I filled in a few things that are public knowledge anyway. I gave him my wife’s name on the card, and I told him the total I owe on my house’s mortgage. When my donation and filled-in cards went back, I noticed future letters became more personalized — they mentioned my wife’s name as well. How? Because when my mail goes back to his headquarters, someone enters that information in the database that corresponds with my control number 1921805. The more details he has, the more personalized the letters can become — and through the miracle of automation software and direct mail, he can send out thousands of these letters per day — all “personalized.” Popoff’s letters are printed in two colors. A black “Courier” type face to make it look like it was typed on a typewriter, and then blue writing to make it seem like he personally wrote special notes that call the reader’s attention to various parts of the letter. These are probably written by Popoff himself because they’re generic (i.e. they don’t mention my name) and the lettering is different than other seemingly hand-written sections. Check out page 4 of his “fleecing” letter. Notice how he asks for $24.00 at the end? And see my control number in the lower right (click on the image for a larger view)? One person who emailed me about my first Popoff blog mentioned that they had personalized hand-written notes from the good Reverend on their letters. The hand-written parts of the letters is simply a computer font. If you look at the letters, you’ll see all of the E’s are identical, as are the I’s, T’s, etc. It’s just a type face and it’s a different style than those generic messages I mentioned above. I’ve included one of these here (click on the image for a larger view): A database feeds a printing press that churns these letters out, stuffs the envelopes, and then someone brings them to the post office. You wouldn’t need too many people to run an operation like this. No one has to answer phones or letters. They just have to run the checks to the bank, enter information from donations into the database, and run the printing press. It’s easy, and it’s obviously profitable. You almost have to admire Rev. Popoff’s approach. It’s a formula that is working for him. It’s completely impersonal, has nothing to do with teaching the Bible or anything else, and everything to do with pulling readers in to donating various amounts of money that can really add up over time. Along the way he’ll send you bubble gum, oil, water, salt, and anything else he can dream up in an effort to make you think you’re partaking in a supernatural ritual, when in reality you’re acting like a puppet and he’s just pulling your strings in an effort to get

When I was a wee lad of about ten years old, Sunday nights meant one thing… duct tape. I was sent to bed too early, of course. We all were at ten years old. But I had a solution for that… duct tape. Like all good children of the 80s, I had a boom box — shiny silver with big knobs and bright lights — too bright in fact because when I’d plug my headphones in after being sent to bed, the pulsating red lights would alert my parents that I wasn’t asleep, I was listening to the radio. “Jeffreeeey!”My mom would say (she’s the only person who ever calls me “Jeffrey”) “Turn the radio off and get to bed!” The solution to this problem? Duct tape. A small patch of duct tape over the red LED lights would mute them just enought to let me feed my jones… Dr. Demento’s radio show. “Weird Al” Yankovic, Kip Addotta, Julie Brown, Cheech & Chong, and Napolean XIV kept me snickering under my covers while Dr. Demento spun the latest parodies and farce songs along with classics by legends like Spike Jones and Tom Lehrer. Monday recess at school meant my friends and I would sing the songs we heard the night before and even make up a few of our own. As I got older, I grew taller, but not more mature. I learned to play guitar and I never lost my love of music, especially wacky music. I never lost the dream of writing a song that Dr. Demento would play on his show. During the Christmas season of 2000 I wrote a spoken-word poem called “A Redneck Christmas Carol.” My then girlfriend (and now wife) Megan performed on the song with me and an audio engineer friend produced it for me. We sent a copy of the song to our friends that Christmas and kind of forgot about it. A few years later, I added the song to the Sound Click Web site and was surprised to find others like the bit as well. So I rolled the dice and mailed a copy to Dr. Demento and forgot about… until today. While Googling “Redneck Christmas Carol” I came across a Dr. Demento playlist from 2005. And there was my song! I hit the big time December 4, 2005 and didn’t find out until April 24, 2007. During that same show, Dr. Demento also played songs by Denis Leary and Bob Rivers — not bad company! I’m such a dork, I know, but seriously — a show I used to sneak around to listen to played one of my wacky songs. I’m now inspired to send the good Doctor my follow-up Christmas hit, “Brown Christmas” that I wrote with my father-in-law, Robert Peckman. You can hear both songs here: http://www.jeffbelanger.com/santa/ See you in the funny pages!

“All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances,” so wrote Shakespeare. So true. Some people seem to be minor characters, or background noise for the rest of us. But a select few are so colorful, so bombastic, that we remember them. They command our attention. Shawn Poirier was one such character. I first met Shawn in Salem, Massachusetts back in 2004. I was working on my book, Communicating With the Dead and I was speaking with him about Ouija boards and being psychic. I felt like I got him pretty early on. Each time I’ve seen Shawn, he was dressed head-to-toe in black–and he was usually wearing a cloak. His big frame and tall stature only added to this imposing figure. But he had a smile and charm that forced you to look past any hang-ups you may have about the way he dressed. I believe that was part of his point. Shawn passed away on Sunday, March 18th in his sleep. He was 40 years old. Last night I attended his wake and funeral ritual. This was the first Witch funeral I’ve ever been to. The family specifically asked that we dress in black and wear our favorite pointy hat. I actually had a Witch’s hat in my Halloween box so I brought it along but wound up leaving it in the car. Once inside a procession of black trickled in. I saw a few people I knew, and I offered my condolences. Around 7:30, with everyone seated and silent, the ritual began in front of the casket. Four Witches stood over a table on which sat a human skull, a bowl of water, and a few other items I couldn’t make out from where I was sitting. One Witch swept the area around them then another took a ceremonial knife and cast a circle. Then we chanted. Though the ritual part of a Witch funeral was foreign to me, everything else about it was familiar. Instead of some priest, minister, or rabbi going through the standard motions over a person they didn’t know that well (which I’ve witnessed plenty of times), there were four Witches, close friends of Shawn’s who gave every line and every motion deep meaning because they truly cared about this person. At the non-Witch funerals I’ve attended, I sat patiently through the standard lines the clergy spoke until the eulogy–that’s the part that holds all the meaning because it’s usually given by someone who cared deeply for the departed. At this funeral, every part of the ceremony had meaning. Instead of just reading from standard religious texts, the Witches also read from Shawn’s Book of Shadows–his Witch’s journal. Instead of hearing someone else’s words, we heard Shawn’s. It was one of the most touching funerals I’ve ever attended. Everyone in that room meant it. They wanted to be there, and their presence had purpose. I had only known Shawn for a few years and I only saw him at a few events during that time but I can tell you that Shawn was the real deal. He believed what he preached to his very core and his conviction was impressive. The cat had style and charm–and he made an impact on me. So much so that I felt compelled to go pay my respects last night. Merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again to you, Shawn Poirier, King of the Salem Witches.

A few weeks ago I was on The Maury Show during a segment called “Ghosts Caught on Tape.” One of the segments shown was the ghost of Puckett’s Garage in Oklahoma. Several alert viewers sent me emails claiming that I was furthering a known hoax. One email even accused me of not doing my homework… ouch! There are a couple of things I want to say in my defense, and one in my offense (the best defense is a good offense, right?). First, as with all of the evidence I’ve ever displayed on my Web site or in my lectures, I never claim that what I have is proof. Because of time constraints, there were portions of the Maury interview that didn’t make it to the air. Maury Povich asked how we know some of these videos are a hoax or someone playing a joke. My response was that we don’t know with all of these, but we often have some pretty compelling circumstances surrounding the video. Again, it’s evidence, not proof. Some people see enough evidence that a phenomena is proved to them, others can see all of the evidence in the world and they’ll never believe. No problem. That’s their choice. Back to Puckett’s garage… you can view a write-up about the video (and see it) here: http://www.ghouli.com/investigations/puckett.htm The reason for the emails was mainly because this video clip was shown on a television show last year where some researchers were able to mostly recreate the phenomena by hanging a plastic doll by a string close to a security camera. Even though the video looked very similar to the Puckett’s garage footage, the show said the results weren’t conclusive.  Basically, unless someone comes forward and says, “Hey, I faked this,” it will remain inconclusive. These videos are all a part of a much bigger discussion. Does something happen after death? And if so, can we see evidence of it here in the world of the living? So in response to those emails from people trying to keep my honest I say, “You may be right.” But I also ask that people look at all of the evidence. Consider the millions of clips, photos, and personal accounts. Can we dismiss them all? I can’t. And that’s what keeps me going.

In January of this year psychic Sylvia Browne was busted in another blunder. Now I have no idea whether Sylvia Browne has a psychic gift, used to have one, or only has one on occasion, but I do know that two of her predictions over the last 13 months are deplorable and inexcusable. Not only was she 100% wrong, but she was commenting on life and death issues in real-time. I know for a fact Sylvia Browne has gotten other predictions wrong in addition to the two I’m going to discuss here, but I don’t take issue with a psychic saying something like, “You’ll meet a tall, dark stranger and fall in love,” and the person being read for meets a short, fat friend and falls in love with that person instead. No one really gets hurt in a prediction like this (except the tall, dark stranger, of course). Let’s stick to the facts. On January 2, 2006, Sylvia Browne was on the Coast to Coast overnight radio program with George Noory–I show I’ve also had the pleasure of being an overnight guest on. January 2nd was the day that the 13 coal miners in West Virginia were still stuck underground. During the early parts of the four-hour program, George Noory interrupted the show to announce the great news that 12 of the 13 miners had been found alive. Sylvia Browne said she knew they would be okay. She said she thought one might not make it, but she knew. She also acknowledged that it’s easy for a psychic to say something like that after the fact, but nevertheless, she knew. A few hours later, during the same show, George Noory read the corrected newswire that 12 of the 13 coal miners had perished and the previous wire story was wrong. Sylvia Browne could only ponder aloud how the newswire could make such a mistake. And she didn’t miss a beat. She changed her story 100% during the same radio program and said she knew that most of them were gone. It’s crass, rude, and wrong to comment on issues like this in real-time. But what happens next is even worse. On October 6, 2002, Shawn Hornbeck went out for a bike ride in Richwood, Missouri and didn’t return. His parents were desperate to find their child and eventually they made their way to the Montel Williams show to ask Sylvia Browne for help. The date was February 26, 2003 and Sylvia told the frightened parents that she had the answer. She told the parents that her boy was dead and his body was in the woods 20 miles away near two jagged boulders. His bicycle was dumped in another state. The heartbroken parents left and tried to accept that their child was dead. In early January of this year, Shawn Hornbeck was found alive and well in St. Louis, Missouri with another boy who had gone missing just a few weeks earlier. Every psychic I’ve ever interviewed (and there have been quite a few) will say that they can’t be 100% accurate all of the time. I accept that. But if one isn’t 100% sure, one better not comment on life and death to the faces of those who are affected most by the missing person in question. What Sylvia Browne did was despicable and unacceptable. On her own Web site she offers a vague apology for getting this one wrong, but it’s so vague I actually find it even more insulting than saying nothing. We talked about this issue quite a bit on a recent X Zone Radio Show, but I wanted to go on written record saying Sylvia Browne’s behavior on these issues is inexcusable. If someone wants to spend $750 for a 20-30 minute phone reading with Sylvia Browne, that’s their business. But please oh please don’t ask about anything related to life and death issues. She clearly has no problem with guessing on those subjects.